Our 4 year anniversary cycle was not to be. I do feel like it’s the best shot we’ve had, but alas, letrozole cycle #2 has failed. I got my period yesterday and went in today for a follicle check to be cleared to start letrozole again this cycle. Things looked ok, although it seems there is still a little bit of a cyst on the right side, but he said I was ok to take the meds again starting tomorrow.
Ach. Yesterday was disappointing, but sadly, not surprising. Despite knowing that we can make a viable embryo, and that I can carry a baby successfully, it just doesn’t work for us. My OB thinks it’s probably the eggs and sperm just not getting together for whatever reason. We can do an IUI, but honestly it just feels like a waste of $600+. I decided not to this cycle because the timing seems like it could be too tricky with teaching, but told him we might do it next cycle. I need to call the place where they do it to find out details, but the nurse today mentioned STD testing- we have of course, done it all, but I’m not sure if it’s been too long since then…
My disappointment pales in comparison to my friend who just learned that their trip to transfer their last two donor egg embryos didn’t work. I’m really shocked. She did everything, and I mean everything to try for another successful FET. Intralipids, a D&C instead of just endometrial scratching, infrared saunas, acupuncture, massage, chiropractor, and I’m sure I’m forgetting more… not to mention traveling from CA to Eastern Europe and many expensive medications and supplements.
This journey is not for the faint of heart. It is hard, it is heartbreaking, it is unfair, it is painful, and it is costly in many ways.
Speaking of cost, I just found out my HSG is likely going to cost us another $600+ for a total of $851. I spent a few hours on the phone with the OBGYN office, the Imaging office, and the insurance office to try to straighten things out yesterday (on my day off from teaching), but it seems unlikely they will cover any of it. Since the HSG is associated with infertility, it is automatically on the ‘not covered’ list, even though my OBGYN tried to code it for the abnormal bleeding issues etc. and it initially looked like they would cover part of it.
On a happier note, my husband was offered a job in New Zealand! We are pretty amazed and bewildered as it’s something we’ve been talking about for literally years. And it has just sort of happened really quickly over the last couple of months, and now it’s ours for the taking! It feels very daunting thinking about all of the logistics of moving there- what will we take, what will we not take, what will we do with things we don’t take, will we be there for a few years or forever? So many questions! And crazy to think our lives could be completely different in just a few months.
Of course we looked in to fertility related things, and it seems like I might be able to qualify for covered IVF there, but I would have to be referred before my 40th birthday, which gives us until October. My low ovarian reserve and the fact that we have a living child could count against us, but if we did qualify, I would probably give it another shot. I just really don’t know if lightning could strike twice for us. Even if it’s not covered, it seems like it would be less expensive there if we did pay for it, but I’m not sure how the options and details compare.
Anyway, lots of big decisions in the weeks to come!
Thanks for reading. Leaving you with some wild flowers because that’s better than a photo of my empty uterus, am I right?