Decision Time… Again!

Hello there, it’s been a while!  I’ve been immersed in teaching my class out here on the island and have let myself take a break from thinking about all of this IVF/TTC stuff (at least most of the time- but of course it’s always around, lurking in the background).  But it has resurfaced in the last few weeks because we are trying to decide if we are going to go forward with our FET in December.  The more pressing decision is that I have to decide whether or not to teach another class in LA (2 hours away from where I live) starting in January.

I am really struggling with this decision, and was hoping I’d get some clarity by now.  I think that doing the transfer in December (it would be late December), and teaching the class would be a bad idea- I don’t think I would feel confident that I was giving us our best shot at the transfer succeeding with the extra stress and driving, and feeling unhealthy in LA.  So, the question is, do I not teach and do the transfer, or do I teach and wait to do the transfer until March?  There are several reasons why I don’t want to wait, one being that we will have to pay more to keep the embryos frozen, but also if we end up doing two transfers (of my 3 embryos), and none of it works, it will be another 6 months from now and we’ll be back to square one.  I don’t know that we will even consider doing another IVF, but either way, I’ll be a solid 35 and a half or more by the time we could even try anything else.  Obviously teaching would put a little $ back in the bank (I stress little), which would help after IVF has taken so much out, but there’s a chance we might have to get a new car for all of the driving, which would ultimately take a lot more out than I’d be putting in with teaching!  The reason is, while I’ve been out here on the island, my husband got rear-ended in my car and there may be structural damage that could end up totaling the car- but we won’t know for sure until we take it in for the repairs.  Nothing is ever simple!

Then there’s a trip we booked to Mexico in February, which complicates things a little too- if we do the transfer, and if it works (!!), I’d have to bring along all of the progesterone shot stuff which I’d be a bit nervous flying with especially since I don’t speak enough Spanish to be able to explain a bag full of needles!  If I teach, I’d have to possibly cancel a class and rearrange some of the curriculum, or we might have to compress our time there a bit depending on the flights.

Deciding not to teach could likely also close the door on this opportunity- while I enjoy teaching this class, doing it in LA is really far from ideal.  I’ve made it happen for 3 years now, and I’m kind of at my limit.  But I also don’t have any other work I’d actually get paid for lined up closer to home.  If the transfer is successful I’d be fine with taking a break from teaching for a while, but if it’s not, I’m afraid I’ll feel even worse about everything if I’ve given up this position.  After everything we’ve been through, I just want to give the embryos the best chance at success that I can, and to me, being in LA is the opposite of that!  And I thought having the embryos on ice and being able to choose the timing might make things easier- HA!  I guess it would if I was more willing to wait until March to do a transfer!

Any insight from you ladies would be helpful- I know there’s never a perfect time, but how do you make these tough decisions?

Anyway, time to get ready for another dive- I leave you with a photo of some island diving!

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7 Comments

  1. Argh – feeling conflicted is so annoying! Plus all the time/emotion spent going round and round in circles, trying to make a decision… I think that by the time you ask for advice, you already know the answer (but don’t want to admit it!)

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  2. This is a tough one when you have all these other factors. It sounds like you’re quite done with that teaching job in LA as it will be stressful, you’ll have to get a new car, and it doesn’t give you a whole lot of money. And it sounds like you’re reluctant to wait until March. So does it mean that it’ll be a better decision for you to not take the teaching job, focus on the transfer, and see if that will work? Only you can decide, of course. But that sounds like what you’re leaning towards. I could be totally wrong though! I hope that you’ll have a clear direction one way or the other very soon! I also went through a period of time when I was very confused about the next steps and it wasn’t fun.

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  3. I have been going back and forth with myself abt “the right time” but as my wife tells me…. there’s never a right time. No one is ever ready… so why continue to wait for the right time if it never comes along? Something could come up in March and you’ll find yourself in this predicament again. LA seems to be a lot of stress and I can’t imagine the time you waste commuting. It doesn’t sound like a bad idea to consider passing on teaching the class this semester. If the pay is little, there’s a lot of stress w/ the commute, and there’s issues with your car (sorry to hear that btw) personally I would take the time off and focus on your transfer. Now, if you would be losing a good portion of your income and/or benefits then that’s something to consider. I usually look at the bigger picture and think how it’ll affect me in the end. If it’d be a huge loss…. I know what I would need to do. But if it’s a few hundred or even a few thousand… I’d pay for my sanity and not teach the class…. Just my opinion.

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    • Thanks for your thoughts, the decision was postponed a few days and I’ve been putting it off… I am leaning towards not doing it, but I feel like it’s not the responsible choice since we are not exactly in a position to say we don’t need the money! It’s hard to feel like it’s the right choice when I know I’ll feel guilty about turning down the income (small as it is), but I know that doing the job would be even more stressful…

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